Jokes for a laugh!

how about you post your own joke, so if you feeling unhappy there is a joke wating for you here in fourm cloud!

Two peanuts walk into a bar
One gets Assaulted

Two elephants and a symbol fall of a cliff

Bang! Bang! Crash!

(best if you hear it though)

Little Girl: Santa why are you crying?
Santa: Someone pinched my sack.

This is more of a story joke...

A man is on a train and is desperate for a poo. he goes to the toilet but is blocked up and he can't use it.
The man waits but after a while he can't hold it in any more. he looks through the carriage and there is no one there so he draws a face on his bum and sticks it out the window and starts to do a poo. The train is about to go through a station and the man has not finished.as the train passes through the station a boy sees the mans bum and says to his priend "I'll poke him in the eyes you grab his cigar." ...........

hahaha lol ......

A man walks into a bar

Bang !

An old classic but still good...

What makes fat women feel fat?

Mirrors...



Uhhh...

A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!"

So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!"

Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts."

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There were these three guys. They had been walking for 3 days and were very tired. They found a hotel, rented a room and went to sleep. Then, this old guy comes in out of nowhere, and says there is a magic pool just outside their hotel room. He tells them "Ok, you must jump off the diving board, and yell out what you wanna land in."

So the three guys go over to the pool. The first guy, a vegetarian, yells out "Bananas!" and lands in a pool of bananas. The second guy was money hungry and yelled out "Money!" and lands in a pile of money. The third guy jumps, when a bird shits on his head, and he yells "Oh Shit!"

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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A mother found her son scooping ice cream in the kitchen and was mad.

Mom : "Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play."

Son : "But mom, there's no one to play with."

Mom : "I'll play with you, what do you wanna play?"

Son : "Lets play mommy and daddy, you go upstairs and lay down on the bed."

The mom said ok and went upstairs. The son put on his dad's fishing hat and lit up one of his dad's cigarettes. He went upstairs and opened the door.

Mom : "Now what do I do?"

Son : "Get your ass out of bed, you whore, and fix that kid some fucking ice cream."

LOL

Another one:

A plane crash on the border of US and Canada. Where will you burry the survivers.



You don't burry surviers.

I have a good one.

Big_Bear can spell!

Vertman wrote:I have a good one.

Big_Bear can spell!

Meh, I've seen MUCH worse.

Lmao these are very good i will post some laters!

Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"

The next morning Rick got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Rick has been missing since Friday. Please pray for him

Found on funny.com

What do you call a cow with no legs





GROUND BEEF...

lol like these jokes!

that reminds me of a shirt my friend has, "hahaha i'm so corny" and its got a piece of corn but most people couldn't read in grade 5 there so someone read it as I'm so horny and burst out laughing... good old MBS...

Firefly wrote:What do you call a cow with no legs





GROUND BEEF...

Firefly you have to stop using this joke how many times will you subject us to the pain of hearing it so many times lol....

just kidding but seriously bad joke SUNSHINE

why did the gum cross the road?
For the chicken to step on it!

why did the gum cross the road?
For the chicken to step on it!

Indeed...

Metalman wrote:

why did the gum cross the road?
For the chicken to step on it!

Indeed...

...lol?

Mezmer-Eye wrote:

Metalman wrote:

why did the gum cross the road?
For the chicken to step on it!

Indeed...

...lol?

Umm... I think so...?

Metalman wrote:

Mezmer-Eye wrote:

Metalman wrote:

why did the gum cross the road?
For the chicken to step on it!

Indeed...

...lol?

Umm... I think so...?

lol big quotey box!

blue

Mezmer-Eye wrote:

Metalman wrote:

Mezmer-Eye wrote:

Metalman wrote:

why did the gum cross the road?
For the chicken to step on it!

Indeed...

...lol?

Umm... I think so...?

lol big quotey box!

blue

Yay! Super-Big-Mega-Awesome-Ultra-Quotey-Box!

Metalman wrote:

Mezmer-Eye wrote:

Metalman wrote:

Mezmer-Eye wrote:

Metalman wrote:

why did the gum cross the road?
For the chicken to step on it!

Indeed...

...lol?

Umm... I think so...?

lol big quotey box!

blue

Yay! Super-Big-Mega-Awesome-Ultra-Quotey-Box!

my turn

blue

blue

blue

blue

blue

blue

blue

blue

yay lots of boxes now

Mezmer-Eye wrote:

Metalman wrote:

Mezmer-Eye wrote:

Metalman wrote:

Mezmer-Eye wrote:

Metalman wrote:

why did the gum cross the road?
For the chicken to step on it!

Indeed...

...lol?

Umm... I think so...?

lol big quotey box!

blue

Yay! Super-Big-Mega-Awesome-Ultra-Quotey-Box!

my turn

blue

blue

blue

blue

blue

blue

blue

blue

yay lots of boxes now

Wow.

W00T

W00T

W00T

W00T

W00T

W00T